Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
