I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
