i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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