I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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