he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
