You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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