that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
