Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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