last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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