Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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