im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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