Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
