You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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