Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
