Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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