I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I believe in your delicious
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
