I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
