Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
