so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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