I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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