Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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