you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
