We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
