Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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