Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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