I heard we made out
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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