its not stalking. its research.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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