i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
