K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
