I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We had to coat check the pizza.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
