i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
