What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
