Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
