saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
