Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
