I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
