i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
