Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
