If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
