You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
