I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
