go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
