May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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