he looks like a really good dad on facebook
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
