Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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