You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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