no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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