I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
