Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
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