Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I need water and some morals
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