Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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