i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
well I can't set my house on fire every night
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
