I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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