Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i now understand why vodka
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
