it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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